This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
