Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
