Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
