This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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