Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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