i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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