If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
