Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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