Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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