I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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