Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
