Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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