dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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