i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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