I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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