Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
