she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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