You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
