So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
