Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
