Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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