mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
