I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
So many bounce houses so little time
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
