We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize