It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
