so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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