You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
