whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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