i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
