Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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