I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
