apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
