So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
