If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
