hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
