My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
