Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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