The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
