so that wasnt chicken after all
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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