So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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