I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
