NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
