I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize