o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
