i think i have herpe
just one?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
