I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
