I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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