I cut my penus on the lid.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
