She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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