I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
