In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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