Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
