Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
