Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
