someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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