I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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