okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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