Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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