she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
