His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
