there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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