just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
