I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize