I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
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So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
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Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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