Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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