my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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