there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
